Last week, I was sitting at the kitchen table, talking with the kids as they finished up their dinner. At one point, Madison leaned over and rested her chin on her hands and had a look of concern and worry on her face. She looked up at me finally and sighed, something similar to this followed... "Daddy, you really need to stop farting at night, because it wakes me up too early." She was dead serious too, no smiles on her face, no laughing afterwards. She was honestly troubled by what I can only assume are small sonic booms being released unknowingly from my butt, at night, while everyone apparently is trying to sleep. Madison then continued with her woes, telling me that "I really need to do something about this" and asking me "why do you do it so loud?" I actually found myself trying to find the words I could use to defend my actions, words that she would understand without having discuss human anatomy and body functions. I didn't find the words however, and simply apologized and said "I'll have to try and stop doing that, so you can get some sleep from now on."
With that she again looked at me seriously, as if to warn me that she was not playing games and that I had better change my ways. I wanted to laugh, but didn't because she didn't seem to find anything about the discussion funny. I had robbed her of precious sleep, and she was making sure I knew that she wasn't happy about it. I'm proud to say that there hasn't been incident since our talk, and I hope there never will be.
