When AJ was born, I made it pretty well known that I was finished with having kids. I was happy that I had one girl and one boy, and it just made sense financially to have those two right now while we were still in school and taking classes. Tina wanted and still wants five children, which I usually say we'll have to move to a log cabin and live like the Ingalls in order to afford that many. I was pretty adamant about sticking with two, and was very vocal about it.
You see, it seems that many people like to ask "So, are you going to have anymore?" I don't know why they ask it. Is it sincere curiosity, wishful thinking, or is it a ploy to get you to say "no" vehemently over and over so that one day when you do have more, they can throw it back in your face like..."HA!" Whatever the reason may be, I do believe that by saying "No", "No more kids", "I'm done", and other such phrases actually increases one's fertility, and doubles the chances of pregnancy (quadruples the chances if both parents involved are against having more kids). I believe this, because Tina's pregnant after my often repeated phrase "no more."
I will admit, it was a bit of a surprise at first when Tina told me. However, her sudden interest in me having a beer at the restaurant was a big clue that something was up. We all know how one gets pregnant, so the surprise was very short lived and suddenly you're shaking your head and thinking "oh yeah!"
It has all sunk in now and we're both very excited and nervous at the same time. Tina's now in the high risk age, and after Madison being born with no kidney, and AJ having some sort of growth on his brain before he was born (which ended up being nothing to worry about), your excitement gets tempered a bit. Our first doctor visit is next week, so we'll get a lot more details then hopefully.
As far as preparations go, we're basically going to keep AJ and Madison in the same room, but they'll have full size bunk beds. Madison will remain there for the rest of the school year and perhaps the following summer. When the baby is ready to move into that bedroom, with AJ, we will then move Madison to the upstairs room and there will be much rejoicing on her part. As the baby gets older and when we win the lottery, we'll add on to the house and everyone will have their own room along with another bathroom. I will also have traded in the Xterra for what inevitably will be a minivan. The kids will grow up, be successful enough to put us in a senior living center.
That's the good word, but as you already know, what I say and what actually happens are not one in the same.
8/17/11
6/20/11
Later On That Day
After the incident I talked about in my previous post, things got back to normal for the rest of the morning. In hindsight, I guess I should have taken pictures, but I was near insanity when it all went down. Anyway, it wasn't until later in the afternoon that things got back to being bad again.
I was putting all the dirty clothes in laundry bags so that I could take them downstairs. The bags get pretty heavy, so I throw two of them over my shoulder and basically pinball my way through doorways. When I get to the basement stairs, I toss the bags down the stairs. Simple, right?
All the bags are filled, and I throw two over my shoulder and I begin to teeter and walk quickly through the the archway of the kitchen. I speed along to the other side of the kitchen and take a step down into the back door foyer, this is where I was ambushed by a single tinker toy.
My first step down into the foyer that leads to the back door and the basement door was unto a round blue tinker toy stick. I lost my balance immediately and dropped one bag, which flew downstairs as planned. However, the other bag was still draped over my back and was causing extra weight to fall backwards. I don't know about you, but falling backwards down a flight of stairs is not my idea of a good time. I quickly turned and flung the other bag off my shoulder and let it fall to the ground. I am now almost ready to tumble backwards towards the stairs, so I start clawing for anything to save myself. My left hand catches the molding of the doorway, and my right hand first grabs a plastic shopping bag that was handing on a hook. Nope, that's not going to cut it, so I claw again and this time I grab the big rolling bin that holds the dog food. It rolls, but catches a little bit of the right molding of the doorway. I think I'm all good now and quickly heave myself back up, that's when the bin slides over just enough to roll over the first step and begin a thunderous ride down the stairs. This all happened in a matter of seconds too, so you can imagine the chaos...shit flying everywhere.
I turned and winced a bit as I watched it bounce down, it actually turned completely once and stayed shut and I thought it would be okay. I wasn't so lucky, as soon as it hit the last step, the top flew open and the dog food went flying like Pedigree fireworks. I just stared at it for a few minutes. I'll be honest, I wanted to cry a little bit. I laughed instead and just shook my head.
I'm now downstairs, hooking up the shop vac when I hear the feet start running towards the stairs to see what happened. They see me connecting hoses and getting ready to vacuum dog food bits that have flown everywhere and I look up at them.
"This all happened because you left your toys on the floor in the kitchen!"
I get blank stares and no comment until Madison finally looks down at the mess and starts shaking her head in disgust. She then crosses her arms and says "Mommy is NOT going to be happy when she gets home and sees this mess...Daddy."
Unbelievable.
I was putting all the dirty clothes in laundry bags so that I could take them downstairs. The bags get pretty heavy, so I throw two of them over my shoulder and basically pinball my way through doorways. When I get to the basement stairs, I toss the bags down the stairs. Simple, right?
All the bags are filled, and I throw two over my shoulder and I begin to teeter and walk quickly through the the archway of the kitchen. I speed along to the other side of the kitchen and take a step down into the back door foyer, this is where I was ambushed by a single tinker toy.
My first step down into the foyer that leads to the back door and the basement door was unto a round blue tinker toy stick. I lost my balance immediately and dropped one bag, which flew downstairs as planned. However, the other bag was still draped over my back and was causing extra weight to fall backwards. I don't know about you, but falling backwards down a flight of stairs is not my idea of a good time. I quickly turned and flung the other bag off my shoulder and let it fall to the ground. I am now almost ready to tumble backwards towards the stairs, so I start clawing for anything to save myself. My left hand catches the molding of the doorway, and my right hand first grabs a plastic shopping bag that was handing on a hook. Nope, that's not going to cut it, so I claw again and this time I grab the big rolling bin that holds the dog food. It rolls, but catches a little bit of the right molding of the doorway. I think I'm all good now and quickly heave myself back up, that's when the bin slides over just enough to roll over the first step and begin a thunderous ride down the stairs. This all happened in a matter of seconds too, so you can imagine the chaos...shit flying everywhere.
I turned and winced a bit as I watched it bounce down, it actually turned completely once and stayed shut and I thought it would be okay. I wasn't so lucky, as soon as it hit the last step, the top flew open and the dog food went flying like Pedigree fireworks. I just stared at it for a few minutes. I'll be honest, I wanted to cry a little bit. I laughed instead and just shook my head.
I'm now downstairs, hooking up the shop vac when I hear the feet start running towards the stairs to see what happened. They see me connecting hoses and getting ready to vacuum dog food bits that have flown everywhere and I look up at them.
"This all happened because you left your toys on the floor in the kitchen!"
I get blank stares and no comment until Madison finally looks down at the mess and starts shaking her head in disgust. She then crosses her arms and says "Mommy is NOT going to be happy when she gets home and sees this mess...Daddy."
Unbelievable.
Four Words
I posted something on Facebook the other day, and this is more complete description of how my day began on June, 17 2011.
"Daddy! AJ did something."
I awoke suddenly, I must have fallen back to sleep after Tina left for work. As I'm trying to open my eyes, I mutter to Madison who is looking at me with worry laced excitement. "What did he do?"
"He wrote all over the couch with a green crayon!"
"What!!! AJaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!"
Any sleep left in my body, was quickly and harshly shaken and now anger and terror of what I was about to walk into was rushing through me. I jumped out of bed, literally...you know, like those martial arts guys who spring to their feet after they get knocked to the ground? Madison booked it quickly out to the living room. She knows what's about to happen, and as always she wants a front row seat to the action. I get to the hallway and head directly into the bathroom. Can't yell at kids with a full bladder, you know? I could hear Madison faintly giving AJ a speech that went something like "AJ, you know you're not supposed to do that, and now you're in so much trouble! Why did you do that? You know you're not supposed to use the crayons!" Remember that part, its important later.
I finish in the bathroom, and head out to see the damage. AJ is standing in the corner, awaiting whatever wrath he knows is coming. Madison kindly directs me to the crime scene with her hands waving. I look at the couch and about a third of it is covered in dark green crayon. Not just lines drawn, he actually colored pieces of the couch AND cushions completely. Oh, and in case you're wondering, we have a light tan micro fiber couch and love seat combo in which the seat cushions cannot be removed. Yeah, holy shit is right.
It is at this time that I close my eyes and look to the ceiling. I felt the enamel on my teeth begin to crack from how hard I was clenching my teeth. I sound then came out of my mouth, I'm not sure what kind of sound it was. If guess if you combined a dog whimper and the sound you make when you're constipated and trying to squeeze something out, then you'd get the sound I made.
"What did you dooooo AJ!!! Why do you have a crayon! Didn't Mommy tell you you're never to have anything to write with ever, again? Look what you did to the couch!"
Yes, this all came out in one large statement, in which AJ. now with a look of complete terror on his face simply said "I'm sorry." Well, that obviously wasn't going to be good enough for me so I sent him to his room...forever. I was approaching that point where I might just start laughing hysterically and throwing furniture, children, dogs, appliances in every direction. Therefore, I just sent him away while screaming reprimands of what he should and should not be doing. During this period of freakout, Madison is standing safely in the distance shaking her head. I'm surprised she didn't have a bucket of popcorn with her.
AJ is crying in his room, temporarily ashamed of what he did. I get the spray stain remover and go to town on the couch and cushions, praying...sweating...cursing under my breath. AJ then comes out of the room and asks if he's done in time out, I repeat that he's going to be in there forever. He runs to his bed and starts wailing out a cry that not only isn't sincere, but signals that fact that he's forgotten the initial crime. I then go and get the carpet cleaner out of the closet.
"Daddy, what's that?" AJ says very happily (see, he wasn't truly sorry, he was just waiting for something else to turn his attention to.) I said not to worry about it and go back to bed. Again, more fake crying. I have to fill up the tank with water, add detergent...wait, no more detergent? SHIT! Oh well, going to see if that stain spray is as good as it says it is. I then switch it on and the loud roar is actually a pleasure to my ears as it blocks the sound of any child's voice within earshot. I use the little attachment and begin relentless scrubbing, rinsing, and sucking the couch and cushions. It took me about a half hour to get everything clean.
When I turn off the cleaner, I look to see that Madison and AJ have forgotten everything and are jumping off their beds in the bedroom. At this point I'm too tired to tell them what they are doing is dangerous, and start putting the machine away. As I'm cleaning out the tank, I ask AJ where he got the crayons from. Madison immediately answers for him and says "I got it for him, but I didn't know that he would do that though." Wait, what the hell? You did what?
She knew...SHE KNEW she was not to get him any sort of writing object. This little girl scolded her brother for using the crayon that she provided for him, knowing that she wasn't supposed to give it to him at all. I can't prove it, but I swear I think she set him up! Needless to say, my scolding was not over yet and I let her have a few choice words also. I stopped just short of saying that I was going to burn every writing object in the house in the fire pit and roast marshmallows over the fire that it creates. Yeah, I was pretty mad.
It was one of the worst morning ever, and things could only get better, right?
WRONG!
"Daddy! AJ did something."
I awoke suddenly, I must have fallen back to sleep after Tina left for work. As I'm trying to open my eyes, I mutter to Madison who is looking at me with worry laced excitement. "What did he do?"
"He wrote all over the couch with a green crayon!"
"What!!! AJaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!"
Any sleep left in my body, was quickly and harshly shaken and now anger and terror of what I was about to walk into was rushing through me. I jumped out of bed, literally...you know, like those martial arts guys who spring to their feet after they get knocked to the ground? Madison booked it quickly out to the living room. She knows what's about to happen, and as always she wants a front row seat to the action. I get to the hallway and head directly into the bathroom. Can't yell at kids with a full bladder, you know? I could hear Madison faintly giving AJ a speech that went something like "AJ, you know you're not supposed to do that, and now you're in so much trouble! Why did you do that? You know you're not supposed to use the crayons!" Remember that part, its important later.
I finish in the bathroom, and head out to see the damage. AJ is standing in the corner, awaiting whatever wrath he knows is coming. Madison kindly directs me to the crime scene with her hands waving. I look at the couch and about a third of it is covered in dark green crayon. Not just lines drawn, he actually colored pieces of the couch AND cushions completely. Oh, and in case you're wondering, we have a light tan micro fiber couch and love seat combo in which the seat cushions cannot be removed. Yeah, holy shit is right.
It is at this time that I close my eyes and look to the ceiling. I felt the enamel on my teeth begin to crack from how hard I was clenching my teeth. I sound then came out of my mouth, I'm not sure what kind of sound it was. If guess if you combined a dog whimper and the sound you make when you're constipated and trying to squeeze something out, then you'd get the sound I made.
"What did you dooooo AJ!!! Why do you have a crayon! Didn't Mommy tell you you're never to have anything to write with ever, again? Look what you did to the couch!"
Yes, this all came out in one large statement, in which AJ. now with a look of complete terror on his face simply said "I'm sorry." Well, that obviously wasn't going to be good enough for me so I sent him to his room...forever. I was approaching that point where I might just start laughing hysterically and throwing furniture, children, dogs, appliances in every direction. Therefore, I just sent him away while screaming reprimands of what he should and should not be doing. During this period of freakout, Madison is standing safely in the distance shaking her head. I'm surprised she didn't have a bucket of popcorn with her.
AJ is crying in his room, temporarily ashamed of what he did. I get the spray stain remover and go to town on the couch and cushions, praying...sweating...cursing under my breath. AJ then comes out of the room and asks if he's done in time out, I repeat that he's going to be in there forever. He runs to his bed and starts wailing out a cry that not only isn't sincere, but signals that fact that he's forgotten the initial crime. I then go and get the carpet cleaner out of the closet.
"Daddy, what's that?" AJ says very happily (see, he wasn't truly sorry, he was just waiting for something else to turn his attention to.) I said not to worry about it and go back to bed. Again, more fake crying. I have to fill up the tank with water, add detergent...wait, no more detergent? SHIT! Oh well, going to see if that stain spray is as good as it says it is. I then switch it on and the loud roar is actually a pleasure to my ears as it blocks the sound of any child's voice within earshot. I use the little attachment and begin relentless scrubbing, rinsing, and sucking the couch and cushions. It took me about a half hour to get everything clean.
When I turn off the cleaner, I look to see that Madison and AJ have forgotten everything and are jumping off their beds in the bedroom. At this point I'm too tired to tell them what they are doing is dangerous, and start putting the machine away. As I'm cleaning out the tank, I ask AJ where he got the crayons from. Madison immediately answers for him and says "I got it for him, but I didn't know that he would do that though." Wait, what the hell? You did what?
She knew...SHE KNEW she was not to get him any sort of writing object. This little girl scolded her brother for using the crayon that she provided for him, knowing that she wasn't supposed to give it to him at all. I can't prove it, but I swear I think she set him up! Needless to say, my scolding was not over yet and I let her have a few choice words also. I stopped just short of saying that I was going to burn every writing object in the house in the fire pit and roast marshmallows over the fire that it creates. Yeah, I was pretty mad.
It was one of the worst morning ever, and things could only get better, right?
WRONG!
4/14/11
Madison's serious talk about a my serious problem
With that she again looked at me seriously, as if to warn me that she was not playing games and that I had better change my ways. I wanted to laugh, but didn't because she didn't seem to find anything about the discussion funny. I had robbed her of precious sleep, and she was making sure I knew that she wasn't happy about it. I'm proud to say that there hasn't been incident since our talk, and I hope there never will be.
3/28/11
Its Okay AJ
In the last month or so, I've noticed something that Madison does and I can't decide if I should allow it or not. When AJ gets in trouble, he usually gets sent to time out or to his room. As he travels to one of these destinations, he usually begins to cry very loudly. When he is sitting on his bed, weeping, Madison will run and sit next to him and comfort him by rubbing his back. Most times she is whispering into his ear something along the lines of "its okay papa, you don't have to cry". She also whispers a few other inaudible things that I can only imagine include the phrases "daddy's mean", "screw them, what do they know", and "karma will get them." When all is said and done, he feels better and comes out and says he's sorry.
Sounds cute and touching right? After thinking about it, I wondered if her encouraging words were negating the punishment. AJ is supposed to be in his room, contemplating what he did wrong, why he did it, and why he won't do it again. In theory that is. If Madison is comforting him right away (and whispering to him that we're Satan's death angels, only out to hurt him!), how is he going to learn lessons? Worse yet, now AJ calls for her when he gets punished and when Madison shouts "what?", he proceeds to cry "I need hugs from you please!". Again, ugh!
I'm now torn as to whether I tell Madison to leave her brother alone when he gets in trouble, or to let her continue her therapy session. What if, by telling her to stop, I somehow create the blueprint for the way she treats her brother when they are older. What if AJ's accused wrongly of something, and looks to his sister for support, and she just walks on by because that's what she was taught to do from an early age? Then when AJ is off to prison for a crime he didn't commit, because his sister wouldn't agree to be a key witness, he cries out "Why Madison, why?" and she utters the horrible words "Because Daddy said not to interfere." How will I live with myself?
On the flip-side, if I do continue to let her ease AJ's pain, perhaps he'll become accustomed to being told everything is okay when really it isn't. He could join a cult or something all because a girl he liked said "don't worry AJ, its okay." Then when he's forced into slavery by a cult leader named "Wiseman", and addicted to heroin...he'll think its all okay as long as there is someone to rub his back and hold him.
I don't know. I think I'll just delay her going in to him until he's pulled himself together a little bit. Then she can work her magic and speak her whispers of support (or distaste of parents). That way everyone gets what they need, and I don't regret these days when I'm older.
You know, this could all be avoided if one day, AJ would just stop getting into so much trouble...
Yeah right!
Sounds cute and touching right? After thinking about it, I wondered if her encouraging words were negating the punishment. AJ is supposed to be in his room, contemplating what he did wrong, why he did it, and why he won't do it again. In theory that is. If Madison is comforting him right away (and whispering to him that we're Satan's death angels, only out to hurt him!), how is he going to learn lessons? Worse yet, now AJ calls for her when he gets punished and when Madison shouts "what?", he proceeds to cry "I need hugs from you please!". Again, ugh!
I'm now torn as to whether I tell Madison to leave her brother alone when he gets in trouble, or to let her continue her therapy session. What if, by telling her to stop, I somehow create the blueprint for the way she treats her brother when they are older. What if AJ's accused wrongly of something, and looks to his sister for support, and she just walks on by because that's what she was taught to do from an early age? Then when AJ is off to prison for a crime he didn't commit, because his sister wouldn't agree to be a key witness, he cries out "Why Madison, why?" and she utters the horrible words "Because Daddy said not to interfere." How will I live with myself?
On the flip-side, if I do continue to let her ease AJ's pain, perhaps he'll become accustomed to being told everything is okay when really it isn't. He could join a cult or something all because a girl he liked said "don't worry AJ, its okay." Then when he's forced into slavery by a cult leader named "Wiseman", and addicted to heroin...he'll think its all okay as long as there is someone to rub his back and hold him.
I don't know. I think I'll just delay her going in to him until he's pulled himself together a little bit. Then she can work her magic and speak her whispers of support (or distaste of parents). That way everyone gets what they need, and I don't regret these days when I'm older.
You know, this could all be avoided if one day, AJ would just stop getting into so much trouble...
Yeah right!
3/6/11
Inspired for the Moment
This Blog, which was formerly "BabyBlog" was intended to be updated frequently as my daughter, joined later by my son, to showcase them growing up. It all started all great, as I had time even while working to sit, relax, and think of clever things to type. That eventually faded to a few post here and there, then to no posts. The blog moved from server to server as I switched providers, and eventually it was lost forever. Not because I didn't want to keep up with it, it was because I literally was either too tired or too busy. Also, our desktop computer died, which was in the office... which was quiet!
The kids are older now (2 and 4) and due to some recent inspiration I've decided to get this thing going again, because it is never a dull day with these two kids. This will also give me an excuse to break my addiction to Zynga games on Facebook. Speaking of Facebook, I think that's taken away a lot of the fire that Bloggers once had, as its so much easier to upload pictures and talk about things there. You don't get the long in depth stories though, and blogging seems a little more personalized. Or something.
The name is new, but the author remains the same. I'm on blogspot now, so you get ads, but at least I don't have to worry about losing all the pages due to a server move and what not. I also think I'll be writing not only about the kids, but also about general family chaos too. Just to give me more choices. Can't wait.
The kids are older now (2 and 4) and due to some recent inspiration I've decided to get this thing going again, because it is never a dull day with these two kids. This will also give me an excuse to break my addiction to Zynga games on Facebook. Speaking of Facebook, I think that's taken away a lot of the fire that Bloggers once had, as its so much easier to upload pictures and talk about things there. You don't get the long in depth stories though, and blogging seems a little more personalized. Or something.
The name is new, but the author remains the same. I'm on blogspot now, so you get ads, but at least I don't have to worry about losing all the pages due to a server move and what not. I also think I'll be writing not only about the kids, but also about general family chaos too. Just to give me more choices. Can't wait.
