In the last month or so, I've noticed something that Madison does and I can't decide if I should allow it or not. When AJ gets in trouble, he usually gets sent to time out or to his room. As he travels to one of these destinations, he usually begins to cry very loudly. When he is sitting on his bed, weeping, Madison will run and sit next to him and comfort him by rubbing his back. Most times she is whispering into his ear something along the lines of "its okay papa, you don't have to cry". She also whispers a few other inaudible things that I can only imagine include the phrases "daddy's mean", "screw them, what do they know", and "karma will get them." When all is said and done, he feels better and comes out and says he's sorry.
Sounds cute and touching right? After thinking about it, I wondered if her encouraging words were negating the punishment. AJ is supposed to be in his room, contemplating what he did wrong, why he did it, and why he won't do it again. In theory that is. If Madison is comforting him right away (and whispering to him that we're Satan's death angels, only out to hurt him!), how is he going to learn lessons? Worse yet, now AJ calls for her when he gets punished and when Madison shouts "what?", he proceeds to cry "I need hugs from you please!". Again, ugh!
I'm now torn as to whether I tell Madison to leave her brother alone when he gets in trouble, or to let her continue her therapy session. What if, by telling her to stop, I somehow create the blueprint for the way she treats her brother when they are older. What if AJ's accused wrongly of something, and looks to his sister for support, and she just walks on by because that's what she was taught to do from an early age? Then when AJ is off to prison for a crime he didn't commit, because his sister wouldn't agree to be a key witness, he cries out "Why Madison, why?" and she utters the horrible words "Because Daddy said not to interfere." How will I live with myself?
On the flip-side, if I do continue to let her ease AJ's pain, perhaps he'll become accustomed to being told everything is okay when really it isn't. He could join a cult or something all because a girl he liked said "don't worry AJ, its okay." Then when he's forced into slavery by a cult leader named "Wiseman", and addicted to heroin...he'll think its all okay as long as there is someone to rub his back and hold him.
I don't know. I think I'll just delay her going in to him until he's pulled himself together a little bit. Then she can work her magic and speak her whispers of support (or distaste of parents). That way everyone gets what they need, and I don't regret these days when I'm older.
You know, this could all be avoided if one day, AJ would just stop getting into so much trouble...
Yeah right!
3/28/11
3/6/11
Inspired for the Moment
This Blog, which was formerly "BabyBlog" was intended to be updated frequently as my daughter, joined later by my son, to showcase them growing up. It all started all great, as I had time even while working to sit, relax, and think of clever things to type. That eventually faded to a few post here and there, then to no posts. The blog moved from server to server as I switched providers, and eventually it was lost forever. Not because I didn't want to keep up with it, it was because I literally was either too tired or too busy. Also, our desktop computer died, which was in the office... which was quiet!
The kids are older now (2 and 4) and due to some recent inspiration I've decided to get this thing going again, because it is never a dull day with these two kids. This will also give me an excuse to break my addiction to Zynga games on Facebook. Speaking of Facebook, I think that's taken away a lot of the fire that Bloggers once had, as its so much easier to upload pictures and talk about things there. You don't get the long in depth stories though, and blogging seems a little more personalized. Or something.
The name is new, but the author remains the same. I'm on blogspot now, so you get ads, but at least I don't have to worry about losing all the pages due to a server move and what not. I also think I'll be writing not only about the kids, but also about general family chaos too. Just to give me more choices. Can't wait.
The kids are older now (2 and 4) and due to some recent inspiration I've decided to get this thing going again, because it is never a dull day with these two kids. This will also give me an excuse to break my addiction to Zynga games on Facebook. Speaking of Facebook, I think that's taken away a lot of the fire that Bloggers once had, as its so much easier to upload pictures and talk about things there. You don't get the long in depth stories though, and blogging seems a little more personalized. Or something.
The name is new, but the author remains the same. I'm on blogspot now, so you get ads, but at least I don't have to worry about losing all the pages due to a server move and what not. I also think I'll be writing not only about the kids, but also about general family chaos too. Just to give me more choices. Can't wait.
