About two years ago, or maybe just last year, I remember posting on Facebook about AJ having a group of older school girls that were smitten with him and would always wave to him in passing. This all took place on the playground at what is now his and Madison's school.
Yesterday, I let the kids play on the playground after school. I had noticed last week that there are a group of 4th or 5th grade girls that swarm to him when he gets to the playground. Well, yesterday, I called AJ to me to let him know that we were leaving, and he stopped and yelled "Wait!"
Me - "Why, what's wrong?"
(I saw an older girl running from him and holding index finger as if to say "wait 1 minute, I'll be right back.")
AJ- "I have to wait for this girl."
Me - "Why? Is everything okay?"
AJ - "Yes, she is just getting me her phone number."
Me (now a little taken back) - "Umm, why is she giving you her phone number?"
AJ - "Because, she wants me to come over to her house."
Me (Totally Boggled) - "Uhhh, I don't think that's going to be possible, how hold is she?"
AJ (Totally Serious) - "It doesn't matter."
The girl never did come back, probably because her parents told her no about the number. I told AJ that I don't think she's coming back and he was cool with that. Two minutes later I found him sitting in the middle of a circle created by three sitting girls. I had to know what his trick was, because I usually don't listen that intently on his conversations. I casually pushed the stroller which held Bailey, over to the little pow-wow that was happening. The girls' faces were so pensive and fixated on him as he spoke, I swear he could have been telling them how he climbed Mt. Everest. That's not what he was saying though, he was actually telling them about "The Force" and how if they ever let him die, that he will lose "The Force" and disappear. He told them how he can use this force to open things, and make things move. Yep, that's it, he was telling them fictitious stories about Jedi Knights and The Sith.
9/25/13
9/11/13
Quick Post - Forgot My Lunch
Doing this post in a hurry because my day has jam packed with time wasters...
First off, AJ's Kindergarten teacher is exceptionally pretty, now I see why he's adjusting so unbelievably well.
Second, After walking 3/4 of a mile, in this nasty humidty, to the school today; Madison tells me that she has forgotten her lunch. I was wearing my glasses and not my contacts, and I don't know about all of you, but wearing glasses makes a hot day even hotter.
Anyway, I wanted to tell her that she'd have to starve then and maybe she'd concentrate more on things she needs for school than bugging her sister and watching TV. I didn't say that though, because she would have cried, a parent would have seen, and next thing you know I'm in jail for child neglect or something.
You might say "Well, Adam, all you have to do is drop it off at school." If you did say or think that, please slap yourself for me. One does not just drop off a lunch anymore. I have to find a parking spot, which is impossible due to teachers and staff parking on the street. Then I have to lug Bailey around with me because I don't have time to waste pulling out the stroller. Then you have to show credentials to prove you are in fact said child's father. After they're done with the DNA testing and cavity search, I then have to sign-in. I then either get to do the walk of shame through the hallways holding a Barbie lunch bag and a baby until I find her classroom, or, they tell me that they'll have someone come down and get it. Either way, the whole process takes about 5 minutes and THEN they make you sign out even though most times I haven't left their line of sight. Finally, most likely I'm walking to the car with a crying, screaming baby only to find out that I was two inches into the no parking zone and got a ticket.
Yeah, all I had to do was drop it off at school.
First off, AJ's Kindergarten teacher is exceptionally pretty, now I see why he's adjusting so unbelievably well.
Second, After walking 3/4 of a mile, in this nasty humidty, to the school today; Madison tells me that she has forgotten her lunch. I was wearing my glasses and not my contacts, and I don't know about all of you, but wearing glasses makes a hot day even hotter.
Anyway, I wanted to tell her that she'd have to starve then and maybe she'd concentrate more on things she needs for school than bugging her sister and watching TV. I didn't say that though, because she would have cried, a parent would have seen, and next thing you know I'm in jail for child neglect or something.
You might say "Well, Adam, all you have to do is drop it off at school." If you did say or think that, please slap yourself for me. One does not just drop off a lunch anymore. I have to find a parking spot, which is impossible due to teachers and staff parking on the street. Then I have to lug Bailey around with me because I don't have time to waste pulling out the stroller. Then you have to show credentials to prove you are in fact said child's father. After they're done with the DNA testing and cavity search, I then have to sign-in. I then either get to do the walk of shame through the hallways holding a Barbie lunch bag and a baby until I find her classroom, or, they tell me that they'll have someone come down and get it. Either way, the whole process takes about 5 minutes and THEN they make you sign out even though most times I haven't left their line of sight. Finally, most likely I'm walking to the car with a crying, screaming baby only to find out that I was two inches into the no parking zone and got a ticket.
Yeah, all I had to do was drop it off at school.
8/17/13
Sick Kids, Tom and Jerry, and Rage
I started to post this as a status update on Facebook, however due to my mind slowly shutting down, my fingers basically started to ramble. Gonna post it here instead.
Bailey is sick, so she's been up and down napping all day. She's currently still up and it looks as if she has no intention of going to sleep now.
Have you ever seen that episode of Tom and Jerry, when Jerry played in that jazz band all night and Tom tried everything he could to cover his ears from the noise? Remember when the music finally stopped and Jerry went to bed, tom couldn't believe it and laid down finally to get some sleep, only to be awakened by his alarm again? He was shocked, confused, and eventually broke down into tears and screamed hysterically. He then ran through the wall and, I would assume, eventually fell to his death?
Well, right now, I'm living that same scenario. Here are the differences... Bailey is Jerry, the music she's playing would the goodnight show on TV which has been playing for the last 4 hours, and my attempts to muffle the noise are the headphones I have to take off repeatedly because Bailey is ripping books or wants her baby swaddled.
As I type this, I can feel my lips start to tremble and my bloodshot eyes are beginning to swell with tears. You might be thinking to yourself "Good thing you can turn your alarm off because its Saturday!" Well, you obviously forgot about my other two children who will be up at the crack of dawn's ass fighting about who gets the lego figure that has the red arm instead of the black arm! You obviously forgot that my other two children will raise their voices when speaking phrases such as "I'm SO hungry, I can't even take it anymore!" or "Fine, I'm telling Mommy Daddy!" You, OBVIOUSLY have forgotten that my dog will need to take a piss right as my now swollen, burning eyelids begin to close for what can only be described as the greatest sleep a man has ever known!
Yeah, there is no happy ending to this story, in fact, there may never be an ending to this story, because once this little girl is no longer sick, the other two will start to get sick and the cycle will continue only with bigger vomiting, hotter fevers, and for me about 3/4 less brain function.
You want to be a parent? I suggest you go through the archives of this blog if they even still exist and read with awe and wonder as to how my wife and I are still functioning without a constant supply of cocaine and an I.V. drip of red bull 24/7.
Take it slow my friends, everyone says it gets better at they get older. Well, they can all kiss my ass, because I live in the moment, and right now the moment is not better, and has strong potential to get worse.
Bailey is sick, so she's been up and down napping all day. She's currently still up and it looks as if she has no intention of going to sleep now.
Have you ever seen that episode of Tom and Jerry, when Jerry played in that jazz band all night and Tom tried everything he could to cover his ears from the noise? Remember when the music finally stopped and Jerry went to bed, tom couldn't believe it and laid down finally to get some sleep, only to be awakened by his alarm again? He was shocked, confused, and eventually broke down into tears and screamed hysterically. He then ran through the wall and, I would assume, eventually fell to his death?
Well, right now, I'm living that same scenario. Here are the differences... Bailey is Jerry, the music she's playing would the goodnight show on TV which has been playing for the last 4 hours, and my attempts to muffle the noise are the headphones I have to take off repeatedly because Bailey is ripping books or wants her baby swaddled.
As I type this, I can feel my lips start to tremble and my bloodshot eyes are beginning to swell with tears. You might be thinking to yourself "Good thing you can turn your alarm off because its Saturday!" Well, you obviously forgot about my other two children who will be up at the crack of dawn's ass fighting about who gets the lego figure that has the red arm instead of the black arm! You obviously forgot that my other two children will raise their voices when speaking phrases such as "I'm SO hungry, I can't even take it anymore!" or "Fine, I'm telling Mommy Daddy!" You, OBVIOUSLY have forgotten that my dog will need to take a piss right as my now swollen, burning eyelids begin to close for what can only be described as the greatest sleep a man has ever known!
Yeah, there is no happy ending to this story, in fact, there may never be an ending to this story, because once this little girl is no longer sick, the other two will start to get sick and the cycle will continue only with bigger vomiting, hotter fevers, and for me about 3/4 less brain function.
You want to be a parent? I suggest you go through the archives of this blog if they even still exist and read with awe and wonder as to how my wife and I are still functioning without a constant supply of cocaine and an I.V. drip of red bull 24/7.
Take it slow my friends, everyone says it gets better at they get older. Well, they can all kiss my ass, because I live in the moment, and right now the moment is not better, and has strong potential to get worse.
7/16/13
Disney World
Before I begin explaining our lengthy trip to and from Disney World, I'd like to first issue an apology.
I apologize to all those people who said that it might be better if we wait a couple more years to take our children to Disney World as it might be more than they can handle. Instead of really considering your advice, I decided to be selfish and go anyway, as it was going to be my first time there also. My wife and I were very excited, you see, and therefore were not influenced with rational thought.
With that said, the road trip happened, and we set off to Disney World with the minivan packed to near capacity with clothes, coolers, swimsuits and snacks. We had it packed so much that the kids had to enter and exit through the rear of the van using carefully selected choreography so that nothing got broken or ripped.
The first stop? The kids' pediatrician because AJ was coughing badly, as was Madison but she had already seen the doctor the day before. Madison had a bit of bronchitis and AJ turned out just to have bad cough. Unfortunately, the bad coughing turned into fits of coughing and ultimately sessions of throwing up. This not a fun thing to deal with during a long road trip. The stops are frequent, the days are long, and the stress is phenomenal. After stops in Virginia and Georgia, and a few buckets of regurgitated mucus and food, we finally made it to Florida. We were staying at a timeshare in Kissimmee.
This was the first time in Florida for the kids, as well as me. My wife has been there a few times before. First impressions of the place is that the wild lizards outnumber the emaciated squirrels something like 200 to 1. Also, it is really humid...it reminded me of Cancun. Third, I saw palm trees and that's about it (where's all the orange trees?) The final big thing that stood out were the enormous birds...some looked like vultures. Anyway, the pool and the lizards could have kept the kids entertained the whole week we were there no problem, but we had to go and throw in three days at Disney for good measure.
Day 1 was at the Magic Kingdom, I had a regimented plan to see the most attractions with the least amount of waiting. That all got thrown out the window because we all had to adjust to the 103 degree weather and 5,000 miles of walking necessary to negotiate Walt's parking lot of doom. You spend about 1 hour just getting to the god damn park with all the walking, monorails, boats, and crowd surfing it takes to get to the front gate.
Once you're inside, of course you have to stop and go to the bathroom, in which the psycho adult Disney enthusiasts with no kids pass you by, and begin making the lines an average of 30 minute wait times. I don't care what anyone says, but grown adults going to Disney World year after year with the same giddy excitement need to get some help. There is nothing in that park worth getting that excited over. unless you're like me, and have the hots Ariel and Belle. Even then, I've seen them once and that's plenty for the rest of my life.
Alright, back to us. We had gone on about four different attractions, drank 5 gallons of water, and used up a bottle of sunscreen by 5pm. Tina, Madison, and AJ were literally pink from the sunstroke they were about to suffer, and Bailey had passed out perhaps from a combination of heat exhaustion and dehydration. I was my usual sweaty mess, and when I would accidentally run into someone or bump them I'd hear "EWWW!" and watch them wipe the sweat from their arm frantically as if my sweat were burning a hole through there flesh.
We decided to leave, but its not that simple, you have to do the whole return to your car walk of shame again. At one point AJ literally fell to the ground and said "Daddy, I can't go any further, I just can't!" He started to cry, I wanted to also but I had no more fluid left in my body to produce tears. Tina ended up carrying him while I pushed the stroller which felt like I was pushing a monster truck because it had diaper bag, lunch bag, and various other Disney bags attached to it.
We finally made it to the van that was a toasty 250 degrees after sitting in the sun all day. We all got in, pointed the vents to our faces and headed for the resort. As we walked to the door, several lizards were running around and the kids took the time to observe them. I ran to our door and tried frantically to unlock it because there is nothing better than walking through that door and feeling the chill of the air conditioning all over your body. Aaaaaaaaaaah!
Day 2 was just as hot, but we arrived much earlier and got to see a lot more of the Magic Kingdom. AJ got to be in the play that involved Belle, and got a hug from her (Lucky!). We rode most of the rides and saw most of the shows. We had lunch with the characters from Winnie The Pooh. We watched the parade and then the fireworks. It was during the exit from the park during the night that we got to see how nasty and ugly people can be no matter where they are. We decided to take the ferry back to the parking lot because it was moving along faster than the monorail. The crowds of people were immense and they were pushing and shoving (mostly the adults mind you), yelling, cursing...very classy. Anyway, they pack you like sardines on these boats and then you run for your car because while it is no longer very hot anymore, the soles of your feet have become one with the inside of your shoes due to the vast amounts of walking all day. All you want to do is sit down.
I'm forgetting a vital part of the first two days that made things a bit more miserable than they already were due to the elements and some of the assholes wandering the park. That's our children. The complaining, whining, requesting, and crying was over the top. Disney has things set up so that after every ride or attractions you're led into a store where kids' eyes light up and parents' wallets and hearts weep. Of course they want this, and they want that, and that, and that too, oh yeah, and that! Its a public place too, so they will try everything from screaming, to crying, to running away forever, to not moving from where they are. I had to start using my ninja hair pulls and squeezing the hand very tightly maneuvers to get them to move, especially my son. I didn't feel bad about doing it either because I saw some mothers and fathers lay some hardcore ass whoopings on their children right there in the open. I wonder if that's what Walt envisioned when he thought about families in his theme parks?
On the third day we went to Hollywood Studios. This place is a nightmare because there are hardly any rides and if it rains, they shut a lot of things down. I signed AJ up for the Jedi training, and just as they got their light sabers, it started raining and they shut it down. All the kids cried, and cried, and cried. As a consolation they let them take a photo with Darth Vader and two Storm Troopers...but that sucks compared to the actual training. Also, due to the rain, they shut down the Honey I Shrunk The Kids play area. We ended up doing the Toy Story Mania ride which was pretty cool, the Star Tours ride which is also cool, and a backstage demo of the studio which was okay but nothing spectacular. There were only a couple of other things to do in the park but because they schedule all the shows at the same time, its hard to get to and from each one to make the other. The best part of the day was the funnel cakes and ice cream from the Indian Jones concession stand. Parking wasn't as much of a hassle either, and we ended up getting out of there in the early evening.
That was it as far as the parks go. Hot, humid, crying, whining, aching, coughing with occasional happiness stemming from food, air conditioning, the pool, and lizards.
Bottom line, we've been to Disney, and we may only go back when the baby is older, but that's about it.
I apologize to all those people who said that it might be better if we wait a couple more years to take our children to Disney World as it might be more than they can handle. Instead of really considering your advice, I decided to be selfish and go anyway, as it was going to be my first time there also. My wife and I were very excited, you see, and therefore were not influenced with rational thought.
With that said, the road trip happened, and we set off to Disney World with the minivan packed to near capacity with clothes, coolers, swimsuits and snacks. We had it packed so much that the kids had to enter and exit through the rear of the van using carefully selected choreography so that nothing got broken or ripped.
The first stop? The kids' pediatrician because AJ was coughing badly, as was Madison but she had already seen the doctor the day before. Madison had a bit of bronchitis and AJ turned out just to have bad cough. Unfortunately, the bad coughing turned into fits of coughing and ultimately sessions of throwing up. This not a fun thing to deal with during a long road trip. The stops are frequent, the days are long, and the stress is phenomenal. After stops in Virginia and Georgia, and a few buckets of regurgitated mucus and food, we finally made it to Florida. We were staying at a timeshare in Kissimmee.
This was the first time in Florida for the kids, as well as me. My wife has been there a few times before. First impressions of the place is that the wild lizards outnumber the emaciated squirrels something like 200 to 1. Also, it is really humid...it reminded me of Cancun. Third, I saw palm trees and that's about it (where's all the orange trees?) The final big thing that stood out were the enormous birds...some looked like vultures. Anyway, the pool and the lizards could have kept the kids entertained the whole week we were there no problem, but we had to go and throw in three days at Disney for good measure.
Day 1 was at the Magic Kingdom, I had a regimented plan to see the most attractions with the least amount of waiting. That all got thrown out the window because we all had to adjust to the 103 degree weather and 5,000 miles of walking necessary to negotiate Walt's parking lot of doom. You spend about 1 hour just getting to the god damn park with all the walking, monorails, boats, and crowd surfing it takes to get to the front gate.
Once you're inside, of course you have to stop and go to the bathroom, in which the psycho adult Disney enthusiasts with no kids pass you by, and begin making the lines an average of 30 minute wait times. I don't care what anyone says, but grown adults going to Disney World year after year with the same giddy excitement need to get some help. There is nothing in that park worth getting that excited over. unless you're like me, and have the hots Ariel and Belle. Even then, I've seen them once and that's plenty for the rest of my life.
Alright, back to us. We had gone on about four different attractions, drank 5 gallons of water, and used up a bottle of sunscreen by 5pm. Tina, Madison, and AJ were literally pink from the sunstroke they were about to suffer, and Bailey had passed out perhaps from a combination of heat exhaustion and dehydration. I was my usual sweaty mess, and when I would accidentally run into someone or bump them I'd hear "EWWW!" and watch them wipe the sweat from their arm frantically as if my sweat were burning a hole through there flesh.
We decided to leave, but its not that simple, you have to do the whole return to your car walk of shame again. At one point AJ literally fell to the ground and said "Daddy, I can't go any further, I just can't!" He started to cry, I wanted to also but I had no more fluid left in my body to produce tears. Tina ended up carrying him while I pushed the stroller which felt like I was pushing a monster truck because it had diaper bag, lunch bag, and various other Disney bags attached to it.
We finally made it to the van that was a toasty 250 degrees after sitting in the sun all day. We all got in, pointed the vents to our faces and headed for the resort. As we walked to the door, several lizards were running around and the kids took the time to observe them. I ran to our door and tried frantically to unlock it because there is nothing better than walking through that door and feeling the chill of the air conditioning all over your body. Aaaaaaaaaaah!
Day 2 was just as hot, but we arrived much earlier and got to see a lot more of the Magic Kingdom. AJ got to be in the play that involved Belle, and got a hug from her (Lucky!). We rode most of the rides and saw most of the shows. We had lunch with the characters from Winnie The Pooh. We watched the parade and then the fireworks. It was during the exit from the park during the night that we got to see how nasty and ugly people can be no matter where they are. We decided to take the ferry back to the parking lot because it was moving along faster than the monorail. The crowds of people were immense and they were pushing and shoving (mostly the adults mind you), yelling, cursing...very classy. Anyway, they pack you like sardines on these boats and then you run for your car because while it is no longer very hot anymore, the soles of your feet have become one with the inside of your shoes due to the vast amounts of walking all day. All you want to do is sit down.
I'm forgetting a vital part of the first two days that made things a bit more miserable than they already were due to the elements and some of the assholes wandering the park. That's our children. The complaining, whining, requesting, and crying was over the top. Disney has things set up so that after every ride or attractions you're led into a store where kids' eyes light up and parents' wallets and hearts weep. Of course they want this, and they want that, and that, and that too, oh yeah, and that! Its a public place too, so they will try everything from screaming, to crying, to running away forever, to not moving from where they are. I had to start using my ninja hair pulls and squeezing the hand very tightly maneuvers to get them to move, especially my son. I didn't feel bad about doing it either because I saw some mothers and fathers lay some hardcore ass whoopings on their children right there in the open. I wonder if that's what Walt envisioned when he thought about families in his theme parks?
On the third day we went to Hollywood Studios. This place is a nightmare because there are hardly any rides and if it rains, they shut a lot of things down. I signed AJ up for the Jedi training, and just as they got their light sabers, it started raining and they shut it down. All the kids cried, and cried, and cried. As a consolation they let them take a photo with Darth Vader and two Storm Troopers...but that sucks compared to the actual training. Also, due to the rain, they shut down the Honey I Shrunk The Kids play area. We ended up doing the Toy Story Mania ride which was pretty cool, the Star Tours ride which is also cool, and a backstage demo of the studio which was okay but nothing spectacular. There were only a couple of other things to do in the park but because they schedule all the shows at the same time, its hard to get to and from each one to make the other. The best part of the day was the funnel cakes and ice cream from the Indian Jones concession stand. Parking wasn't as much of a hassle either, and we ended up getting out of there in the early evening.
That was it as far as the parks go. Hot, humid, crying, whining, aching, coughing with occasional happiness stemming from food, air conditioning, the pool, and lizards.
Bottom line, we've been to Disney, and we may only go back when the baby is older, but that's about it.
6/25/13
Nothing like a morning heart attack.
Around 7 this morning, I woke up to use the bathroom. As I walked out of the room, I noticed that Bailey wasn't in the pack and play and automatically assumed she was in the bed with Tina nursing. As I walked to the bathroom I saw my son sitting on the couch playing quietly on an iPad. I didn't have my glasses on so I waved at him and went about my business in the bathroom. During the return to bed I noticed that Bailey was not in the bed either and Tina was sleeping away. No baby in the crib, no baby in the bed...what the hell? I immediately started pressing the comforter and moving sheets thinking Bailey may have scooted herself underneath. No dice. Now I'm starting to panic a little and I shake Tina's leg to wake up because now I'm thinking Tina might know what's up. No clue. Now we're both up and tossing sheets, looking behind bed, looking around the bed. Nothing.
At this point, my brain went into lunacy mode and I started thinking things like "Oh My God! The front door didn't have a cross with lamb's blood and the angel of death took her!" or "Oh My God! Someone ninja-like climbed through window and kidnapped her!"
I ran to the basement door, it was closed. I ran into the living room and asked AJ if Bailey was in there with him. He answered "no" and then began to panic too.
I finally run back into our bedroom and Tina and I are looking left and right and don't know what to do. That's when Tina looks at the pack and play mattress and noticed it was elevated, Bailey was underneath it! She had tossed and rolled so much that she lifted it up and rolled under.
There was a huge collective gasp and Tina rushed to get her out. Bailey was okay, in fact, she looked kind of pissed at us for waking her up. In the night she must have rolled against the wall of the pack and play, which lifted the mattress a little and she rolled right under. It was the most terrifying morning I've ever been involved in...so far.
At this point, my brain went into lunacy mode and I started thinking things like "Oh My God! The front door didn't have a cross with lamb's blood and the angel of death took her!" or "Oh My God! Someone ninja-like climbed through window and kidnapped her!"
I ran to the basement door, it was closed. I ran into the living room and asked AJ if Bailey was in there with him. He answered "no" and then began to panic too.
I finally run back into our bedroom and Tina and I are looking left and right and don't know what to do. That's when Tina looks at the pack and play mattress and noticed it was elevated, Bailey was underneath it! She had tossed and rolled so much that she lifted it up and rolled under.
There was a huge collective gasp and Tina rushed to get her out. Bailey was okay, in fact, she looked kind of pissed at us for waking her up. In the night she must have rolled against the wall of the pack and play, which lifted the mattress a little and she rolled right under. It was the most terrifying morning I've ever been involved in...so far.
6/24/13
New empowerment brought to you by Disney
We announced recently to the kids that we're going to to Disney World for the first time. Obviously, they were extremely pleased with this announcement and did their little dances of joy for a while afterward. We're making a road trip out of it and stopping at several places along the way and back, which I'm sure will give me plenty of material for my July blog posts.
I didn't log on to tell you that though. What I really wanted to talk about was the glorious power of "Disney" that I have over my children (except Bailey, the one year old, she doesn't give a damn about where we're going as long as she's not sitting in the same seat for more than 3 hours). The other two though, wow, what a difference a word makes.
Here is a before and after example of what I'm talking about...
Before Disney,
Me- "Please feed the dog or you're gonna go to your room for the rest of your life!"
This usually ends up with a 10 minute argument of how they could possibly live their entire life in their bedroom. It usually ends with me telling them to close their mouths and go to bed...and I feed the damn dog.
After Disney,
Me- "Please feed the dog or you're not going to Disney, and we're leaving you here by yourself, with the dog, for a week!"
Them- "Oh please father, do not say such things, we will feed the dog and care for her lovingly."
Okay, so that's not the actual wording they use, but man, that's what it feels like. Guess who didn't have to feed the damn dog? Me!
Unfortunately, the new power I have obtained is going to be short lived, so I'm putting to use as much as possible, even when its not entirely necessary. For example, even though I know the kids are brushing their teeth I'll yell "You better be brushing your teeth, or you're not going to Disney EVER!" Was it necessary? Probably not, but you have to keep children on their toes as much as possible. Sometimes I'll get a look from the 7 year old like "relax padre, we're already doing it for god's sake." At that time I'll just say "all right then, keep up the good work, I really don't want to take Disney away, but I will if I have to."
See I just can't stop using the word even when writing about it. Amazing!
I didn't log on to tell you that though. What I really wanted to talk about was the glorious power of "Disney" that I have over my children (except Bailey, the one year old, she doesn't give a damn about where we're going as long as she's not sitting in the same seat for more than 3 hours). The other two though, wow, what a difference a word makes.
Here is a before and after example of what I'm talking about...
Before Disney,
Me- "Please feed the dog or you're gonna go to your room for the rest of your life!"
This usually ends up with a 10 minute argument of how they could possibly live their entire life in their bedroom. It usually ends with me telling them to close their mouths and go to bed...and I feed the damn dog.
After Disney,
Me- "Please feed the dog or you're not going to Disney, and we're leaving you here by yourself, with the dog, for a week!"
Them- "Oh please father, do not say such things, we will feed the dog and care for her lovingly."
Okay, so that's not the actual wording they use, but man, that's what it feels like. Guess who didn't have to feed the damn dog? Me!
Unfortunately, the new power I have obtained is going to be short lived, so I'm putting to use as much as possible, even when its not entirely necessary. For example, even though I know the kids are brushing their teeth I'll yell "You better be brushing your teeth, or you're not going to Disney EVER!" Was it necessary? Probably not, but you have to keep children on their toes as much as possible. Sometimes I'll get a look from the 7 year old like "relax padre, we're already doing it for god's sake." At that time I'll just say "all right then, keep up the good work, I really don't want to take Disney away, but I will if I have to."
See I just can't stop using the word even when writing about it. Amazing!
6/22/13
I guess I'm old
"Daddy, can you do the same thing for my wedding as you did with Uncle Vincent's...when I get married, if you're still alive?"
Madison just said this to me while I was playing CD that contained music from my brother's wedding. One of the songs on there was from the video montage I created for the wedding. Apparently, if I live to see her walk down the isle, all she wants right now from me is her own slideshow.
Guess I better get started on one now just in case.
Guess I better get started on one now just in case.
